"Every Sperm Is Sacred" lyrics - MONTY PYTHON

[Dad:]
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohamed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

[Children:]
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

[Girl:]
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

[Children:]
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

[Mum:]
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

[Men:]
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
[Women:]
If a sperm is wasted,...
[Children:]
...God get quite irate.

[Priest:]
Every sperm is sacred.
[Bride And Groom:]
Every sperm is good.
[Nannies:]
Every sperm is needed...
[Cardinals:]
...In your neighbourhood!

[Children:]
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
[Funeral Cortege:]
God needs everybody's.
[Mourner #1:]
Mine!
[Mourner #2:]
And mine!
[Corpse:]
And mine!

[Nun:]
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
[Holy Statues:]
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

[Everyone:]
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.