Want to get in trouble?
I'll tell you how to do it:
Jist get a guitar and then you're in to it.
Practice all day and half the night,
Folks tell you you never will get it right.
Always fussin' at you, grousin', won't let you practice,
Tryin' to run you out into the hen house.
Bought a guitar about a year ago,
The fella said I'd learn it in a week or so.
Then he gave me a book and a pick or two,
And said, "There it is, bud, it's up to you."
That dirty dog! Charged me $4.95,
Every cent of money I had-
Cotton-pickin' money, too.
Since I'd already spent my dough,
I didn't want it to go to waste, you know,
So I took the guitar, the book and all,
And went down home where the grass grows tall,
Down there in Virginia.
Good place to be if you've got a guitar;
Don't amount to a great deal if you ain't.
Well, for weeks and weeks I labored hard
Just to try to learn those few main chords.
The book said it was easy as ABC,
But O! my fingers is a-killin' me.
Got sore on the ends,
Couldn't mash the strings down,
Felt disgusted, wanted to quit.
But I practiced hard both night and day,
And I could see Maw's hair was a-turnin' gray.
Her face was lined with discontent;
She said her patience was darn near spent;
She was agitated, nervous, wanted to scream.
My sister she took it the worst of all,
'Cause she got married that coming fall.
She said it was love, but I got my doubts;
I think that guitar drove her out.
She's a game gal, though she just couldn't take it,
Said there was a limit to everything.
My Dad he took it a different way;
He said, "Son, you may turn your Maw's hair gray,
And drive your sister away from home,
But either you or me is a-goin' roamin',
And I ain't leavin', boy."
He said, "I never intended to,
You figure it out."
Well, I did, kinda quick-
Next day after my clothes was packed,
I slung that guitar across my back,
And I caught me the end of a long gray train
To search this world for my share of fame.
But I ain't found any,
Nothin' but hard shifts, heartaches and handouts.