Henpeck O'Johnson and Henpeck O'Day
Made an appointment with Molly and May
Soon they were calling their wives on the phone
"Don't cook my supper for I won't be home"
Then in a "Taxi" to some swell Cafe
They rode away to meet Molly and May
Waited and waited, grew intoxicated
O'Johnson then sang to O'Day
Someone's waiting for me
Someone's waiting for you
I'm waiting and you're waiting and wifey's waiting too
Are we down-hearted? No!
We have plenty of dough
WHAT! Go home to wifey?
Well, not on your lifey
While they were waiting, a waiter named Binks
Waited for tips while they waited for drinks
Manhattan Cocktails and Highballs galore
Three extra waiters were put on the floor
Music was playing "I'm coming home soon"
O'Day was praying for some other tune
Hours were flying, still they kept on buying
O'Johnson was crying again
Missus O'Johnson and Missus O'Day
Happened to stroll in the same swell Cafe
They had grown tired of waiting at home
Went out and left both their flats all alone
Soon from a corner a voice hollered loud
"Give us another and treat the whole crowd"
Just then somebody broke up the whole party
'Twas Molly and sweet little May