"The Polaroid" lyrics - PETER HAMMILL

Me holidays on the Southern Sands,
Trying to get some fun by way of one night stands...
I clocked this girl, thought I'd give her the chat -
One of them Swedish blonde types
And I've always fancied that.
I showed her me Polaroid.

She said "I like it, will you
Please take my picture?"
I say "Right then", thinking
This is gonna be me lucky day.
She whips off her bikini top
And I think "OK!"

I say "It only takes a minute
For this thing to develop."
She says "I'd better push off now
Or me feller'll be jealous."
Just then I felt a hand on me collar,
And it was a Boy in Blue.
He says "You can't take nude photographs on this beach,"
And "I'm arresting you."
I protested me innocence,
But it was no use, the picture was forming;
He gave me the official warning that day.
He'd seen me Polaroid,
So what could I say?

I looked around, but she'd disappeared,
I say "You don't understand, this was all her idea!"
But the copper says "Don't worry son, I get the picture OK."

He took me Polaroid
And I got ten days.