I wanta tell you a story 'bout the Dooright Family. That soul singing gospel group from the hills of Tennessee. They travel in a silver eagle with eight rooms and a shower. And every Sunday afternoon you can tune 'em in on the Dooright hour.
"Oh yes friends and neighbors we are the Dooright Family. Broadcasting over the airwaves from Nashville, Tennessee. Reach over and turn up your radio's and we'll bring our music to ya and pretty soon you'll shout hallelujah!"
Well you've the Dooright (dooright), Dooright (dooright), Dooright (dooright), Dooright (dooright) and we invite you to help us sing our song. The Dooright...yes it's the doo-Dooright's you know you can't go wrong!
"Here's brother Therman."
"Sister Doris and Sister Dewdrop".
"Oh bless your hearts, girls".
"Bless your heart, Daddy; bless your heart Virgil, bless your heart Mama, bless your..."
"Hold it! That's enough heart blessing. Here's brother Virgil".
"Lordy, lordy, lordy".
"Atta boy, Virgil and of course friends I'm Daddy Dooright!"
"No show would be complete. You wouldn't dare delete. She can't be beat, you're in for a treat, she'll sweep you off of your feet. So hang on to your seats. Prepare to meet and greet our dear sweet Mama..."
"Hallelujah friends and neighbors. Never give in to that sin and temptation that's lurking in the shadows but constantly strive for that burning beakon on the distant horizon...ha, ha, ha, ha,".
"Okay, Mama, that's enough".
"Ha, ha, ha, ha,.."
Hush Mama, Virgil!"
(Virgil pushes Mama's face into the piano keys!)
"Now play the piano Mama".
One afternoon in an all-night sing they were making those rafters ring. Had that audience clapping on one and three, oh mercy! Wasn't too long before they hit a groove and then the spirit began to move ol' Therman right over the edge and he began to preach:
"Flock, a-ha. I just want to say a few words about them discotechs. People's in there smokin', people's in there drinkin. People's in there dancing, a-ha. I tell you flock, a-ha, them discotechs ain't nothin' but a regular Sodom and Gamore, a-ha. Where you goin', Virgil, a-ha?"
"I'm goin' over to one of those discotechs!"
"You come back here, Virgil, a-ha!"
"Never give in to sin and temptation that lurks in the shadows but constantly strive for the burning beakon on the distant horizon. Ha, ha, ha,..."
"That's enough. Hush Mama, Virgil!"
(Virgil bangs Mama's head into the piano a second time)
"Now play the piano Mama!".
Well, the tears were streaming down every face. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. One woman had her eyes rolled back and she was speaking in tongues! Even the Dooright's were moved by the sermon and Daddy reached out and hugged ol' Therman and all did the last chorus like it never been sung:
Dooright, dooright, dooright, dooright, dooright...
"Go for another octave, Virgil!"
"What was that?"
"Oh no! Virgil's done gone so slow he's exploded right there on stage friends!"
"Play the piano, Mama! Friends, till we meet again keep them cards and letters comin' in. And don't foget the autographed song books for sale as you leave the building. Got pictures of the entire Dooright Family standing in front of the lavendar bus. Lordy, Virgil, will you cut that out? You can't sing that low! Friends, look for the Dooright bus comin' through your town real soon. Virgil! Virgil!!!"
Fades off as daddy dooright screams "virgil!"
Now, I think this is one of the most hilarious Ray Stevens songs of all-time and if you're offended, don't be. Ray himself is a religious man and he's having fun with religious stereotypes.