"Drunken Irish Dad" lyrics - SETH MACFARLANE

Peter:
Oh, he doesn't smell like Irish Spring
And he never taught me anything
But still I slap my chest and sing
Of my drunken Irish dad

Oh, his face looks like a railroad map
And he never shuts his freakin' trap

Mickey:
But all the ladies catch the clap
From your drunken Irish dad

Peter:
Ask a Hennessey, Tennessey, Morrison, Shaughnessy, Riordan, and Rooney
They'll tell you the same
McNulty, Mulroney, and Carter and Clooney
All feel the same mixture of pride and of shame

Mickey:
Finnegan, Hannigan, Kelly, and Flanagan
Look to the ground when their dad passes by
Cafferty, Rafferty, Joyce and O'Lafferty
Fight for his honor and then start to cry

Both:
Oh, we Irish lads are all infirm
And our moods infect us like a germ
'Cause we're all the spawn of a pickled sperm

[Spoken:]
Mickey: And we don't tan well either

All:
From a drunken Irish dad