Thank you for purchasing Periphery's self-titled debut long play record
On this album you will hear heavy metal, a genre of music from the future
Be dazzled by distortion, be bombarded by bass-beats, and jitterbug to djent
We're sure you will enjoy such finger-popping tunes as "Light," "Insomnia," and my own personal favorite, "Ragtime Dandies!"
These songs and more are played by a talented troupe of traveling troubadours, featuring the likes of Misha, "The Electric Light Bulb" Mansoor, who was voted the 23rd most influential person in "Brown Magazine," and can be found on the cover of this months "Mocha Imporium"
And look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Trent Reznor! No, it's Jake Bowen and his seven strings of wonder!
Rounding off the trio of stringsman is Alex Bois, the man with the arms of steel and the ass of a skunk
On drums is Matt Halpern, the only man who can break three cymbals with one swing of the stick!
Our lead singer will be Spencer Sotelo, who's voice goes up like an angel and down like a wounded ox
Last but not least is Tom Murphy providing the rumble from down under, and is the only member of Periphery decent enough for the institution of marriage
Experience heavy-metal at it's finest
Love That Shit!