"The Sadder But Wiser Girl" lyrics - SETH MACFARLANE

"The Sadder But Wiser Girl"
(Meredith Willson)

No sweet and pure angelic lass for me
That kinda gal can spin a web, you see
She trades on wholesome innocence galore
But it's my independence that she's trading for

The only affirmative she will file
Refers to marching down the aisle
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir!
For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now

I snarl, I hiss
How can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark, I fizz
For the lady who knows what time it is
I cheer, I rave
For the virtue I'm too late to save

The sadder but wiser girl for me

No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby, no sir!
That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance
On a more adult romance

No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting
No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you'll see

I flinch, I shy
When the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile, I grin
When the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope and I pray
For Hester to win just one more 'A'

The sadder but wiser girl for me

No giggling ice cream soda drinker
Out to hook you line and sinker
No honey throated beckoning siren
I plug my ears and I grab my oars and I flee

I jeer, I boo
At the puritan hearted ingenue
I yearn, I long
For the woman whose Pop says "What went wrong?"
I root and I clap
For the dame in the gownless evening strap

The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder but wiser girl for me