"Gorgeous Dick" lyrics - BO BURNHAM

"Gorgeous Dick"

I saw a gorgeous... dick. I was in the public restroom. Some guys might be like me. I cannot use a urinal when there's a guy beside me. I freeze up. So I have to use the stalls. In this case, all the stalls were taken. I had to use a urinal. There was a guy beside me. I took a little look. You're not picturing this. All right.

[Dramatic music playing]

The bit is over. I'm not talking into his dick now. I didn't rip off his dick. And I'm now not talking into a severed dick. The show is a series of discrete bits. That one's over. God, if you don't get that...

[Hits random piano notes and blows raspberry]
Reset the momentum, I cannot be coasting on the inertia of past jokes.
[Begins playing "Lower Your Expectations"]
I need to earn it. Every bit of it should come out of a vacuum, eh?